My husband, Mark, and I recently had one of our "petty" fights. It wasn't at all about money, school, work, future kids - nothing of the sort. It wasn't even a BIG issue. In fact, it was simply a disagreement on how we both reacted in WalMart last night, of all places and things. In FACT, had I not let it get to me....I wouldn't be here right now typing. Ha! Now let me remind you - Mark tends to be more logical, organized and smart. I tend to be, naturally, emotional, dramatic, stubborn and without all sense of logic in my worst stages. This can create an interesting scene now and then. Anyways, with that being said, I did NOT not go to bed angry. Instead, I allowed myself to feel ignored, embarrassed and irritated while, of course, sulking (mind you, I am 21, not 12.).
This morning was awkward. Least, for me. Because I hadn't confronted Mark with kindness, wisdom and respect (vs. 26) last night (and I had an hour long trip from Sioux Falls, SD, to do it!) and allowed it all to settle throughout all my sleep stages, I woke up deshoveled. This was my first no-no. A wife must always confront her husband with respect. We women tend to easily be spiteful whether in mood or word and we don't have to even act mean to do it! We are quite manipulative beings with the gift of seeing all those little details that some men might miss but sometimes all those little things overwhelm us and we pop. I popped.
Church was wonderful and so was the fellowship. But remember! I had a bone to pick with my husband and I wasn't going to let THAT go (*yikes*)! So, after walking home with other college students, laughing and (genuinely) enjoying my time, Mark and I departed to our apartment and there lies where my second no-no struck. Immediately after I opened the door and put down my purse, I let it out. I pounced on him about the night before like it had just happened two minutes ago. A wife must never address her husband in a bullet-point list of his, what she assumes to be, shortcomings...especially in an emotional ambush. In just a few seconds our voices raised slightly and we went nowhere. I was more concerned about proving myself than working out a problem and I did him no good service of supporting him in love and respect by doing so (vs. 12) which, gave way to a quiet and awkward afternoon.
Well, I'd had it. I was tired enough as it was from last night's late time in South Dakota and as much as emotions were running high on top of that - I decided to lie down on the couch. It wasn't but three minutes after that I saw a small dark shadow run across the floor. Instantly, as if the Lord Himself had been sitting right next to me, my mind shot a thought loud and clear: There's going to be a lesson here.
Within seconds, it appeared again and this time I knew for sure that it was a mouse. I let out a wail, Mark entered the room and for the next few minutes we moved boxes and our couch to find the rodent, working together as a team to solve the issue. Finally, the little thing was captured, taken care of, and Mark and I came back into our small apartment quietly. I see what you're doing here, Lord. I get it. I know what I need to do, I thought like a child who had been scolded at school, sent to apologize to a classmate. I walked over to my husband (who was smiling as if God had spoken to him as well) with open arms and tears, and we exchanged apologies and ideas on how to better settle both the original situation and the reactions following that caused the chaos.
Most fights are like mice. Now, Mark and I have only been married for just over three weeks, but we have been together long enough before that to know what it's like to bicker. Most fights are like mice because they are small, silly things that really do no harm but irritate and disrupt peace. Ever tried to catch a mouse on your own? It's not easy. Left to yourself, tactics can fail and when that happens, you've no other support. But working together in love and respect in accordance with God as your center can do nothing BUT sort out all the tangles. Sure, I'll find something else to whine and sulk about and he'll find something else to get irritated with, but left to ourselves we will solve nothing. We are a team. We no longer are individuals with all the right answers. We answer to God together and in Him alone can we overcome all things........including hunts for mice.
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